Daily Horoscopes for Sunday, June 26

The radiant Sun forms a dynamic square with radical Uranus today, shaking up the status quo and driving us to the edge of unorthodox behavior. We’re tempted to take unnecessary risks to express our eccentricities, however fleeting they may be now. We need not worry if someone accuses us of being weird as long as we remember to treat others nicely. And, the practical Taurus Moon reminds us that we can also find satisfaction in simple pleasures.

 

Aries Horoscope
Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

You might do something that upsets someone today because you’re willing to gamble your security for the possibility of an amazing experience. You’re more ready than ever to push the envelope of your reality. However, caution is advised because you won’t likely get what you want unless you are willing to make a strategic plan first. Remember, what you do before you take action is as important as what you do after.

 

 

Taurus Horoscope
Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

Chaotic Uranus can take you for a wild ride today, leading you to temporarily forget that you like things simple. You may feel ready to rock the boat and shake up your mellow routine. However, fulfilling fantasies shouldn’t be your focus; what’s really important is to free up your imagination so you can visualize the amazing possibilities that are outside of the box.

 

 

Gemini Horoscope
Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

Your energy may be scattered today as you try to express yourself in new and different ways. Fortunately, you’re able to bend the rules now or even make them up as you go. It’s exhilarating when everything falls into place and goes according to your plan. Enjoy the fun while you can, but don’t expect it to last. You’ll need to return to reality and take care of unfulfilled obligations sooner or later.

 

Cancer Horoscope
Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

Restless Uranus squares the Sun in your sign today, provoking you to come out of hiding. You aren’t overly concerned about the consequences of your actions now because it feels as if you can get away with being yourself without others judging you. Although acting spontaneously is refreshing, you could still do something foolish if you don’t consider how you might feel later. It’s great to express yourself, but think before you act.

 

 

Leo Horoscope
Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

You have big dreams about what you want to do for adventure, but it may not be that easy to turn your ideas into reality. Instead of procrastinating today, it’s smarter to take the time now to create a concrete plan. It’s a mistake to think that anything is possible unless you’re willing to put in the effort required. Fortunately, you have more time than you think, so don’t overreact and try to do everything at once.

 

Virgo Horoscope
Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

You may feel as if you’re under a lot of stress today, but your desire to do the right thing can turn a difficult day into a memorable one. Don’t worry about how to get others to support your agenda. Instead, simply do the very best job you can, even if you must do it alone. Ultimately, your performance will exceed everyone else’s expectations of what you should do.

 

 

Libra Horoscope
Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

It’s challenging to motivate yourself today, for you may feel unusually calm, even in the center of a storm. The unexpected chaos that’s brewing around you only encourages you to hold fast to your current position. However, your immunity to change won’t last; take preemptive action, rather than passively waiting for the lightning to strike.

 

 

Scorpio Horoscope
Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

You need to be careful today or you could become so involved with a project that it takes over your entire day. Something that begins as a minor chore could grow more complicated as you mull over your options. A brilliant plan might come to you in a sudden flash of inspiration, tempting you to take immediate action. But impulsive behavior could demonstrate your recklessness rather than your intelligence. Be patient; the best ideas develop over time.

 

 

Sagittarius Horoscope
Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

Your enthusiasm is high today, yet it’s tough to know exactly what to do with your unconventional desires. Unfortunately, if you attempt to ignore your needs, they will only grow stronger. However, you could easily upset the stability of a comfortable relationship now if you just blurt out what you want. Choose an appropriate moment and discuss your feelings casually without becoming overly attached to what happens next.

 

 

Capricorn Horoscope
Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

It isn’t easy today to stick to your customary role of being the responsible one in your family or group of friends. You are suddenly eager to explore undiscovered facets of yourself. You are even tempted to take a quantum leap of faith and blast through a self-imposed limitation. Instead of shocking others with your uncharacteristic behavior, simply start by revealing your thoughts. Once you are ready, transform your brilliant ideas into positive action.

 

 

Aquarius Horoscope
Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

You may be difficult to deal with today because you don’t want to do what’s expected of you. Your key planet, rebellious Uranus, squares the Sun in your 6th House of Daily Routines, prompting you to break the rules. However, you might try to hide your radical behavior now because you don’t want to be rejected by those you love. Go ahead and take a risk; others won’t judge you as harshly as you’re judging yourself. Coloring outside of the lines is your best approach.

 

 

Pisces Horoscope
Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

You are on edge today and even those things that usually seem comforting can provoke free-floating anxiety. You are being stretched tightly and something is ready to snap at the slightest little provocation. Unfortunately, you could feel even worse if you go over the edge and lose your temper. Discussing your fears rationally now is a better strategy than ignoring them, for they won’t go away until the underlying issue is addressed.

the daily humorscopes for sunday, june 26

the daily humorscope

 

Sunday, June 26, 2011

 
 
Aries (March 21 – April 19
You will be hired as a cook/housekeeper for 7 extremely short gentlemen, who all live together. Stay away from apples, for a while.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Good time to get your finances in order. Luckily, in your case that simply means putting the one dollar bills in front of the fives, in your wallet.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Excellent day for light conversation. Good starting points might be “Have you ever thought much about death?” or “Where’s the strangest place you ever had sex?.”
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Slow day today. Surprisingly, it will be due to a time/space anomaly caused by a localised anti-tachyon surge, and will mainly occur in your neighbourhood. Time-flow should return to normal soon.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Good day to discuss zoospores (motile usually naked and flagellated asexual spores, especially of an alga or lower fungus) with casual acquaintances.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Today you will finally reach the breaking point, since that incessant pounding from your new neighbour’s place is driving you nuts! You will storm over there, but what you find will be very bad news indeed. Your new neighbour is the Energizer Bunny.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
In a daring intellectual coup, you will translate a collection of Zen koans from Chinese directly into Jive, in an attempt to combine the best elements of philosophical thought and emotion. You will title the collection “Yo Mama By The River”.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
This week will find you explaining gender roles to the clueless. For example, men MUST continue to channel surf on the TV, no matter how interesting the show is that they stumble onto. Women must watch what shows up on the channel they’re watching, no matter how boring it is. It’s just how these things are done. Women commit and regret it. Men don’t commit and regret it. It’s in our genes. Some kind of adenine/guanine/trampoline chemical thingy.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Dogs barking. Can’t fly without umbrella.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
You will become embroiled in a serious dispute about food. Feelings will be hurt. Bygones will eventually be bygones, but not until you ease off on the Tabasco.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
Having trouble sticking to that diet, aren’t you? It’s even harder when you see all those enticing commercials for fast food on TV. The trick to dealing with those is to use your imagination – mayonaisse becomes shaving cream, a burger becomes coompressed compost, and everything else is coated with synthetic motor oil. Which, these days, is pretty close to the truth.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
You need to get more exercise, but can’t tear yourself away from the computer. Do what I do: glue your keyboard to the ceiling, and get yourself a mini-trampoline!

Let’s start out with a very serious subject………

I have been sitting here watching a channel that is going to show “JFK” tonight.  I was a baby when this happened. I remembered the horses pulling the casket and that’s it. Perhaps I don’t have all my facts but I can’t make up my mind who killed President Kennedy. I do know JFK was a great man and can you imagine what the country might be like now. I can’t even dream that because I don’t know the era in which all this occurred. I see news clips of the Age of Aquarius, Woodstock and some other unfortunate things I do not want to mention. So where am I going with this? I was just curious if anyone had any idea of what might have happened to Kennedy, was it the CIA, Mafia, Cuban mercenaries, or was it just Oswald by himself who acted alone?

Then the plot thickens as Oswald is brought out of the Police Department and Jack Ruby lays in wait for him. Ruby shots him and hours later Oswald dies. Do you think Ruby was a patsy used to kill Oswald to keep him quiet?

Some thought-provoking questions, got an opinion, let’s hear it!

Unblocking Blast

  1. Place  an incense burner filled with frankincense under a straight back chair. Light it.

  2. Sit on the chair, ideally in the nude.

  3. Wrap a plain white sheet around yourself, just under your chin. The chair will be covered up as will you, except for your head. Be vigilant for fire safety.

  4. Sit for between five and fifteen minutes, focusing on the smoke driving your bad luck away.

Yemaya’s Unblocking Spell (2)

If you can’t swim or are afraid of water, you may still petition Yemaya.

  1. Sit down in the sand at the waterline.

  2. As the waves come in, greet them with your hands, gather up the water from the waves, and toss some over your head, some over your body.

  3. Throw seven white roses to Yemaya.

  4. Come out of the water without turning your back to the ocean. Let the candles burn out.

Yemaya’s Unblocking Spell (1)

Life is filled with obstacles and unhappiness. However Yemaya is the all-powerful mother of all, who desires happiness for her children and will do whatever she can to obtain it for them. To obtain joy and smooth sailing:

  1. Go to the beach.

  2. Dig a small pit in the sand.

  3. Light white and/or blue candles. Make your petition.

  4. Enter the water. Greet Yemaya in her guise as mermaid or as a beautiful woman rising up from the sea. Offer her seven white roses.

  5. Immerse yourself completely seven times.

Today’s I Ching Hexagram for Saturday, June 25

28: Excessive Pressure

Hexagram 28
 
General Meaning: Something is out of balance. This hexagram points to some pressure that is threatening stability and needs correcting. But if a dam is about to burst, moving out of the way is the first priority.

When a person in a sagging mine shaft feels the earth begin to tremble, it is time for quick, instinctive action and nimble footwork. At a time like this, only extraordinary measures will work. When the roof is collapsing, run first, choose your destination later.

Extraordinary times bring out the best and worst in people. Natural disasters bring with them stories of great heroism — but also looting and rioting. When the pressure is on, powerful moments present opportunities to make positive gains. Everything is in a state of flux. One can either move towards positive change and improvement or towards stagnation.

This may be the moment you’ve been waiting for. Although a current challenge may seem to be more than you can handle, remember that a flood reaches its high-water mark for only a few brief moments, and then begins to subside. Action must be taken now to ensure opportunities for success later on. You will never discover the true extent of your own abilities until you, at least once in your life, dive into a crisis with complete abandon, dedicating every ounce of your energy, every fiber of your being, to the cause at hand.

Dare to win.

Today’s Tarot Card for Everyone:

The Star

This Tarot Deck: Sacred Rose

General Meaning: What has traditionally been known as the Star card is about reconnecting one’s Soul with the Divine — the transcending of personality, family, community and reputation. It has to do ultimately with the freedom to be one’s Self. The Soul is responding to celestial influences — forces that can provide the personality with a stronger sense of purpose. The Star card helps us to remember our exalted origins and our attraction to a Higher Union.

This card could also be called the “Celestial Mandate” — that which refers us back to our reason for being, our mission in this lifetime. The Star reminds us that, in a sense, we are agents of Divine Will in our day-to-day lives. If we let go of the idea that we are supposed to be in control, we can more easily notice and appreciate the synchronicities that are nudging us along. In this way, we become more conscious of the invisible Helping Hand, and we better understand our place within — and value to — the larger Cosmos.