Tag: Relationship

Your Daily I Ching Hexagram for Jan. 1 is 54: Careful Affection

54: Careful Affection

Tuesday, Jan 1st, 2013

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Affection is the basis of all lasting relationships, but must be channeled properly in order to bring satisfaction, and support the self-esteem of both parties. For example, a married person’s lover would necessarily have conflicted feelings: affection coupled with insecurity. Relationships based mainly on personal attraction, especially those that are outside the mainstream, require special caution and tactful reserve.

If you assert yourself too much, or try to make yourself indispensable, you will only incur misfortune. It is never easier to make disastrous mistakes than when you venture outside the bounds of propriety. If you are in doubt as to whether you should follow your heart or your head, allow for some time to pass, and perhaps the answer will become clear. Initiating any action could bring misfortune. Do not attempt to be too creative or attract favorable attention at this time.

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Daily OM for November 19th – The Dance of Intimacy

The Dance of Intimacy

Coming Back to Center in a Relationship

by Madisyn Taylor

In a long-term relationship it is often necessary to get back to basics and come back to center with each other.

 

Anyone in a long-term relationship knows that the dance of intimacy involves coming together and moving apart. Early in a relationship, intense periods of closeness are important in order to establish the ground of a new union. Just as a sapling needs a lot more attention than a full-grown tree, budding relationships demand time and attention if they are to fully take root. Once they become more established, the individuals in the union begin to turn their attention outward again, to the other parts of their lives that matter, such as work, family, and friendships. This is natural and healthy. Yet, if a long-term relationship is to last, turning towards one another recurrently, with the same curiosity, attention, and nurturance of earlier times, is essential.

In a busy and demanding world full of obligations and opportunities, we sometimes lose track of our primary relationships, thinking they will tend to themselves. We may have the best intentions when we think about how nice it would be to surprise our partner with a gift or establish a weekly date night. Yet somehow, life gets in the way. We may think that our love is strong enough to survive without attention. Yet even mature trees need water and care if they are to thrive.

One of the best ways to nourish a relationship is through communication. If you feel that a distance has grown between you and your partner, you may be able to bridge the gap by sharing how you feel. Do your best to avoid blame and regret. Focus instead on the positive, which is the fact that you want to grow closer together. Sometimes, just acknowledging that there is distance between you has the effect of bringing the relationship into balance. In other cases, more intense effort and attention may be required. You may want to set aside time to talk and come up with solutions together. Remember to have compassion for each other. You’re in the same boat together and trying to maintain the right balance of space and togetherness to keep your relationship healthy and thriving. Express faith and confidence in each other, and enjoy the slow dance of intimacy that can resume between the two of you.

Daily OM

Daily OM for November 9th – Being Alone

Being Alone

A Relationship with Self

by Madisyn Taylor

By allowing ourselves to be comfortable with being alone, we can become the people with whom we want to have a relationship.

 

The most important relationship we have in our lives is with our selves. And even though we are the only ones who are present at every moment of our lives—from birth onward—this relationship can be the most difficult one to cultivate. This may be because society places such emphasis on the importance of being in a romantic partnership, even teaching us to set aside our own needs for the needs of another. Until we know ourselves, however, we cannot possibly choose the right relationship to support our mutual growth toward our highest potential. By allowing ourselves to be comfortable with being alone, we can become the people with whom we want to have a relationship.

Perhaps at no other time in history has it been possible for people to survive, and even thrive, while living alone. We can now support ourselves financially, socially, and emotionally without needing a spouse for survival in any of these realms. With this freedom, we can pursue our own interests and create fulfilling partnerships with friends, business partners, creative cohorts, and neighbors. Once we’ve satisfied our needs and created our support system, a mate then becomes someone with whom we can share the bounty of all we’ve created and the beauty we’ve discovered within ourselves.

As we move away from tradition and fall into more natural cycles of being in the world today, we may find that there are times where being alone nourishes us and other periods in which a partnership is best for our growth. We may need to learn to create spaces to be alone within relationships. When we can shift our expectations of our relationships with ourselves and others to opportunities for discovery, we open ourselves to forge new paths and encounter uncharted territory. Being willing to know and love ourselves, and to find what truly makes us feel deeply and strongly, gives us the advantage of being able to attract and choose the right people with whom to share ourselves, whether those relationships fall into recognizable roles or not. Choosing to enjoy being alone allows us to fully explore our most important relationship—the one with our true selves.

Quiz of the Day – What Soul Sign Are You?

What Soul Sign Are You?

by Annie B. Bond

 

This elemental approach to the human soul is a fascinating way to understand  who you are, especially in relationship to others. Do you crave attention from a  partner? You may be a Fire type. Do you like to organize and plan activities  with your significant other? You may be an Earth.

Take this simple quiz to find out your soul-type so you can learn more about  the ways you relate:

1. You sometimes have regrets, but nonetheless you revel in the joy of having  created an effect, whether good or bad. You live in a drama of sorts, either  emotionally or creatively.

2. You are a person who needs attention, who needs to be recognized and  admired, who is sensitive and easily hurt over the smallest thing, who can love  and hate with equal passion.

3. You are a person who thrives on love and passion in personal  relationships, who needs to be number one in their partner’s life, who likes to  have their own way, who feels easily neglected and is capable of being quite  jealous when their spouse’s attention is somewhere else.

4. You are a person who needs to plan before acting, although you are  determined to turn your plans into action. You make lists and like to take  control.

5. You pay close attention, striving for perfection, even in the little  things, generally organized, especially in situations you consider important,  sensitive but able to reason and to be fair, steady, and reliable.

6. You thrive on being the organizer in the family; are loyal to your spouse  and expect the same respect and loyalty in return; can seem on occasion to be  bossy and you like to take charge; you like to be romanced and need genuine  affection.

7. You don’t like pressure, and you don’t like to be upset or argue, but you  do like new people and new experiences.

8. You love animals and children, do not sweat the small stuff, and are  usually easygoing, happy to go along in life without fuss, generally calm, and  somewhat passive.

9. You thrive on simply being loved, are undemanding in your personal  relationships, like to keep things simple and uncomplicated, hate arguments and  fights, and will try in most cases with your spouse to pacify and keep things on  an even keel.

10. You usually find a way, through compromise, to please others and  yourself. You are able to evaluate and solve problems by negotiating and seeking  harmony.

11. You avoid attention, shy away from the limelight but still like approval  from others for work well done; you strive to be fair and considerate of others’  feelings, but can be so immersed in your own life that you can be neglectful of  issues outside yourself or your family.

12. You thrive on the ability to communicate with your spouse and family;  feel the need to always strive to be seen to be reasonable, even when they  perhaps cannot be, and are strong-minded and capable of standing your ground in  an argument when issues are important.

If you answered yes to 1, 2 and 3, you are a FIRE.

If you answered yes to 4, 5, and 6, you are an EARTH.

If you answered yes to 7, 8, and 9, you are an AIR.

If you answered yes to 10, 11, and 12, you are a WATER.

KISSING SPELL

KISSING SPELL

Take a red color lipstick and draw a lip print on a piece of white paper,
then take a red candle and light and burn the paper in an ashtray while chanting:
“Kiss me when we meet ,
Kiss me {mention persons Full………. name
Greet me with your lips, and say you missed me.
But most of all kiss me as a lover should do Magic kisses so I will love you
Kiss me softly and by me always stay our love will last forever as you kiss me today…”
Don’t forget to visualize the person you want to kiss you , and conjure love .

Do You Like You?

Do You Like You?

  • Liz Dawn Donahue

Do I like myself?

Do I like myself in this relationship?

Two very similar questions, but at the same time, very different.

I remember being in relationships and looking in the mirror only to think “who is this person?” I could barely recognize my own reflection because at times my behavior was the anti-thesis of who I am and who I wanted to be. It had gotten to a point in one relationship that I could not believe who I had become. I was this woman putting up with behavior from my partner that I would go screaming into the night if any of my friends would do this in their lives.

I liked myself, but I did not like myself in this relationship. I did not like the person who I had become and most especially that I could not seem to control my reactions to his “bad” behavior.

After hours, actually months, of therapy, I realized that if I was going to come out of this even half alive and the person that I knew myself to be, that I had to figure a way out of this dysfunctional abyss. It was a matter of my mental sanity that I embarked on a vigorous journey of self introspection to understand why I was in a relationship with someone that brought out the worst in me instead of the best in me.

 

Was this concept an impossibility or just a cliche? Can you really be with someone who brings out the best in you or is it your responsibility to always be your best no matter who is in your life? These questions haunted me. I really felt that no matter who was in my life that I should be able to stay centered at all times and be my best. This is wonderful in theory, but not so great in reality when dealing with intimate relationships or dealing with those things that trigger us.

I have heard story after story about people sharing their disappointments about themselves because they would find their lives intertwined with someone who brought out the worst in them. Why?

Here is what I discovered, and this is just one woman’s opinion. We absolutely have to take responsibility for our own actions at all times; however, there are those intimate relationships that trigger old deep-seeded issues inside us that we might have thought we resolved years ago or even issues we never knew we had in the first place. In other words, if I am in a relationship with someone and I am acting out of character, I have to sit and ask myself, what is happening around me that is triggering me into this behavior? Then I need to reflect on what does this remind me of in my past.

More times than often, there is an emotional trigger that has nothing to do with the person in front of you, but has everything to do with past unhealed trauma. The person in front of you is just a reminder that there are areas of your life that need a little work. Having said this, it does NOT mean that you stay with a person who continuously triggers you. If you sit back and take an objective look at their behavior you will probably see that their actions are dysfunctional as well. Their behavior is a perfect match to tap you on the shoulder and not only see unhealed areas of your life, but to also recognize what your relationship red flags are for the future.

I challenge the concept that in order to grow it is good to be in relationship with a partner that challenges your issues. Thank you very much, but I can grow and learn very nicely without the drama of being thrown into all that dysfunction. It is taking a stand and being able to walk away from those relationships that trigger you, a willingness to work in it on your own, and then get into a relationship with someone who does not have the same behavior.

After many years of playing this game and being hit over the head with this lesson I finally got it. I am in a marriage with a man that brings out the best in me, not the worst and I bring out the best in him. It is not just cliche after all.