Tag: Intimate relationship

Daily OM for February 16th – Thoughtful Conclusions about Commitment

Thoughtful Conclusions about Commitment
Deciding Whether to Marry

 

The decision to marry should not be based solely on having the feeling of love in your heart.

Though we may make many commitments throughout our time on earth, few have a lifelong impact on the path our lives will take. The decision to marry someone you love—to bond yourself to them completely—is unlike any other and can reshape your existence. When two people have similar goals, values, and needs, marriage can result in a lifetime partnership of love and respect, shared laughter and tears, friendship, and intimacy that is ultimately fulfilling. Love is often cited as the sole prerequisite of a strong and stable married life. However, the decision to get married should be made with the mind and the soul as well as with the heart. Carefully considering whether you truly want to get married, both individually and as a couple, can ensure that if you do choose to marry, your relationship can grow to unimaginable depths.

The decision-making process you employ to determine whether you should marry should be a thoughtful and honest one in which you appraise not only your partner but also yourself. Consider that love and attraction do not guarantee long-term compatibility. If your relationship is not secure, marriage will not make it so. Likewise, if your partner is not as attentive, loving, or kind as you would like, your becoming spouses will not change that. Marriage has no power to permanently fill any emotional or spiritual gaps in your life. Before you choose to marry, ask yourself whether you and your partner are adept at resolving conflict, can speak openly to one another, and fully respect one another. Your attitudes regarding the nature of marital commitment, children and child rearing, and marital roles may be the same or they may differ. It is your shared responsibility to discuss your similarities and come to agreements regarding your differences that will predict how successful your future marriage will be. Often times, younger couples rush into marriage just for the wedding dress, the ring, the party, and honeymoon. Would you still be willing to be married if you couldn’t have these things?

Remember that planning a wedding is simple when compared to the intricacies of nurturing a marriage. The honeymoon and nesting period will eventually wear off, and what you are left with is a partner for life. When you work together with your partner, reassure and support one another, and are honest about your feelings regarding marriage, you’ll come to the right decision.

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Do You Like You?

Do You Like You?

  • Liz Dawn Donahue

Do I like myself?

Do I like myself in this relationship?

Two very similar questions, but at the same time, very different.

I remember being in relationships and looking in the mirror only to think “who is this person?” I could barely recognize my own reflection because at times my behavior was the anti-thesis of who I am and who I wanted to be. It had gotten to a point in one relationship that I could not believe who I had become. I was this woman putting up with behavior from my partner that I would go screaming into the night if any of my friends would do this in their lives.

I liked myself, but I did not like myself in this relationship. I did not like the person who I had become and most especially that I could not seem to control my reactions to his “bad” behavior.

After hours, actually months, of therapy, I realized that if I was going to come out of this even half alive and the person that I knew myself to be, that I had to figure a way out of this dysfunctional abyss. It was a matter of my mental sanity that I embarked on a vigorous journey of self introspection to understand why I was in a relationship with someone that brought out the worst in me instead of the best in me.

 

Was this concept an impossibility or just a cliche? Can you really be with someone who brings out the best in you or is it your responsibility to always be your best no matter who is in your life? These questions haunted me. I really felt that no matter who was in my life that I should be able to stay centered at all times and be my best. This is wonderful in theory, but not so great in reality when dealing with intimate relationships or dealing with those things that trigger us.

I have heard story after story about people sharing their disappointments about themselves because they would find their lives intertwined with someone who brought out the worst in them. Why?

Here is what I discovered, and this is just one woman’s opinion. We absolutely have to take responsibility for our own actions at all times; however, there are those intimate relationships that trigger old deep-seeded issues inside us that we might have thought we resolved years ago or even issues we never knew we had in the first place. In other words, if I am in a relationship with someone and I am acting out of character, I have to sit and ask myself, what is happening around me that is triggering me into this behavior? Then I need to reflect on what does this remind me of in my past.

More times than often, there is an emotional trigger that has nothing to do with the person in front of you, but has everything to do with past unhealed trauma. The person in front of you is just a reminder that there are areas of your life that need a little work. Having said this, it does NOT mean that you stay with a person who continuously triggers you. If you sit back and take an objective look at their behavior you will probably see that their actions are dysfunctional as well. Their behavior is a perfect match to tap you on the shoulder and not only see unhealed areas of your life, but to also recognize what your relationship red flags are for the future.

I challenge the concept that in order to grow it is good to be in relationship with a partner that challenges your issues. Thank you very much, but I can grow and learn very nicely without the drama of being thrown into all that dysfunction. It is taking a stand and being able to walk away from those relationships that trigger you, a willingness to work in it on your own, and then get into a relationship with someone who does not have the same behavior.

After many years of playing this game and being hit over the head with this lesson I finally got it. I am in a marriage with a man that brings out the best in me, not the worst and I bring out the best in him. It is not just cliche after all.

MICROCOSM AND MACROCOSM

MICROCOSM AND MACROCOSM

We have been describing ‘traditonal’ occult

philosophy here, and certainly an important part of the

tradition is the idea (and terms) microcosm and macrocosm.

The greater universe, known as the *macrocosm*, includes

everything that exists. It corresponds with the *microcosm*,

or tiny universe, ie. man — who is thought of as a

miniature replica of the macrocosm (whole universe).

This basic magical relationship is demonstrated in the

Bible (Genesis 1.27), where God is the macrocosm; and in

the writing of Trismegistus (“As above so below”). Since

man is in the image of God (universe) it follows that God

is in the image of man (in other words, man and the

God/universe match each other). The magician, as a microcosm

is thus connected with the macrocosm. There is an intimate

relationship of energies between you and everything else.

The universe is reflected within us and we are projected

into the universe. This is an important theory behind magick

and astrology.

Weekend Lunar Love Horoscope for Aug. 5th – Aug. 7th

Weekend Love: Lunar Love

by Jeff Jawer

All or Nothing

August 5 – 7

Controlling your passion is a key to enjoying this weekend, which starts off with the Moon’s move into emotionally intense Scorpio on Friday morning. This lunar placement is all about desire and the craving for connection. But there’s a paradox within Scorpio’s nature — this sign can provoke risky personal behavior, but sometimes the depth of personal needs is so great that the tendency is to withdraw and hide from others. Being secretive, of course, does not earn trust, but blazing eyes and a hungry heart can frighten some people away.

Managing these extreme emotions well includes learning how and when to share them. Stop and consider the person you are with and his or her capacity to respond. There’s no sense in being overly seductive in a public place or with a shy individual who can be embarrassed by this kind of behavior. Profound interest in another can be expressed in subtle ways that allow you to move toward intimacy without making a big show of it. Seek out quiet places where whispered conversations and gentle touches cultivate the romantic connection you want.

The Moon’s placement in passionate Scorpio can also peel away layers of politeness and practicality to reveal what you want most from a partner. It’s hard to settle for less or to dance around emotions with this lunar position. You either want all of someone or nothing at all, making it less comfortable to engage in light chitchat or playful flirtations.

The mood lightens considerably on Sunday morning when the Moon fires into outgoing and optimistic Sagittarius, pulling you out of the deep emotional waters and lifting the heavy veils of intensity so playtime can begin. Relationship dramas fade so you can have the freedom to stretch your wings to explore new worlds or to embark on a fun adventure with the one you love.

General Weekly Love Horoscopes for the Week of July 18th

Mid-summer romance starts to heat up this weekend when the Sun enters heartfelt Leo. However, the bold and courageous style of this sign may be subdued by the emotional Moon’s move into placid and play-it-safe Taurus on Friday. One person is ready to gamble on love while the other might be resistant to taking chances, leading to a stubborn showdown. Flexibility is the key to avoiding relationship gridlock now.

 

 
Aries Horoscope
Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

The Sun fires into lively Leo and your 5th House of Romance late on Friday, kicking off an exciting month of play and creativity. This is a time to cut loose and take risks in expressing your feelings, but be careful of crossing the line and overwhelming sensitive people. Knowing when to move in close and when to back off could be critical to creating the love connection you seek.

Taurus Horoscope
Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

The Moon enters your sensual sign very late on Friday, which brings your emotions to the surface for everyone to see. While this sudden vulnerability attracts attention and can feed your desire for pleasure, it may also bring out the stubborn side of your personality. A little generosity on your part will go a long way to avoid conflict, demonstrating what an openhearted and loving person you really are when it counts the most.

Gemini Horoscope
Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

The mood-setting Moon dives into your secretive 12th house late on Friday, drawing you away from the spotlight as you seek some much-needed peace and quiet. This is a perfect time to enjoy a low-key weekend alone or with an undemanding partner. Getting away from it all and communing with nature will be more satisfying now than being the life of the party. Even a busy Gemini like you needs to recharge your battery now and then.

Cancer Horoscope
Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

Spending some money on yourself is a good way to increase your confidence this weekend. The Sun is entering flashy Leo and your 2nd House of Self-Worth on Friday night, encouraging you to pamper yourself for a change. Trying a more dramatic approach to your appearance can turn the serious business of relationships into a playful game. Expressing yourself creatively allows others to see you in a new and captivating light.

Leo Horoscope
Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

This dynamic weekend is kicked off by the Sun’s entry into your fearless sign on Friday evening. This return of the Sun to your 1st House of Physicality infuses you with a playful spirit that has you searching for adventure. Doing something special with your partner can reignite the passion in your relationship, or taking chances might open the door to love with someone new.

Virgo Horoscope
Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

The Moon’s move into your adventurous 9th house late on Friday expands your horizons in matters of the heart. Instead of sticking to familiar places, it’s time to seek out new people and explore places where nobody knows your name. But instead of feeling isolated in unknown territory, you will be more likely to speak and act freely without feeling the need to protect your old image. Stepping out of your comfort zone is exactly the right move this weekend.

Libra Horoscope
Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

The Moon’s shift into your 8th House of Intimacy late on Friday night could deepen an important relationship. Being honest about your own needs is essential for success. If having different values and desires is a major issue, take your time to sort things out. It’s going to require a good deal of patience before a constructive compromise can be found.

Scorpio Horoscope
Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

This could be a yummy weekend with the Moon moving into sensual Taurus late on Friday night. This lunar transit occurs in your 7th House of Relationships, opening the way to a deeper connection with your current partner or encouraging you to start something with someone new. Slow and steady is so much sexier than being emotionally needy or in a hurry, so take your time and see what develops.

Sagittarius Horoscope
Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

Do your best to stay on a steady emotional course this weekend. The Moon is hanging out in easygoing Taurus where your ability to stay calm in a crisis is especially valuable. Taking care of business may not sound sexy, but this lunar transit is activating your 6th House of Work, triggering romantic feelings when you’re dealing with an otherwise unglamorous task. Love can find you in the most unexpected places.

Capricorn Horoscope
Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

The Moon’s shift into pleasure-loving Taurus late on Friday night is an invitation to open your heart and take romance as a game. This delicious transit occurs in your 5th House of Play and Creativity, which helps you to relax and have fun. Acting without premeditation and going with the flow makes you more desirable to others. A little spontaneity adds a lot of joy to your life.

Aquarius Horoscope
Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

Entertaining at your place or returning to familiar territory can give you the security you need to feel comfortable this weekend. The Taurus Moon is traveling through your domestic 4th house to warm your heart, but could also give you less motivation to seek out new people or experiences. Lower the social pressure by keeping things as simple as possible now. There’s nothing wrong with returning to your roots when you are seeking emotional support.

Pisces Horoscope
Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

The Moon’s move into mellow Taurus and your 3rd House of Communication late on Friday is great for sweet and sensual conversations. Your tone of voice can be used as an instrument of romance this weekend. Express yourself in a tender and poetic way as your words seem to have a magical power now that turns a simple phrase into a seductive moment.

General Love Horoscopes for the Week of July 4th

There’s a strange mix of tradition and exploration in relationships this week. Loving Venus is now in conventional Cancer, spurring desire for security. Yet her tense aspects with experimental Uranus and extreme Pluto make it hard to feel safe, as rapidly changing feelings and intense emotions bring drama to our personal lives.

 

 
Aries Horoscope
Aries Horoscope (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

The Moon in your relationship houses pushes partnership issues into the spotlight this weekend. Friday evening can start on emotionally shaky ground and end up feeling like a party. But you don’t get to play and run this time because the Scorpio Moon in your 8th House of Intimacy attracts complex partners who may want more than you’re willing to give. Being honest about your limitations is the best policy right from the start.

Taurus Horoscope
Taurus Horoscope (Apr 20 – May 20)

You could have a hard time this weekend finding the simplicity and comfort you enjoy so much. The Moon is traveling through the deep waters of Scorpio, taking relationships to exciting but dangerous territory. Feelings may be exposed that alter the nature of a partnership, but the emotional journey can help you recognize what you really need in order to find happiness with another person.

 

 

Gemini Horoscope
Gemini Horoscope (May 21 – Jun 20)

Your easy breezy attitude is usually very appealing to others, but it isn’t the secret sauce to heat up your love life this weekend. Being willing to share your fears may not sound sexy, but if your vulnerability is sincere, it could strengthen an ongoing relationship or help you start a new one. There’s no need to rush; take your time to process the powerful feelings that are emerging now and let things unfold naturally.

 

 

Cancer Horoscope
Cancer Horoscope (June 21 – Jul 22)

Passion is pulling you very strongly this weekend. Magnetic Venus opposes potent Pluto on Friday and the erotic Scorpio Moon is activating your 5th House of Romance. Your powers of seduction are higher than usual so there’s no need to wait for someone else to make the first move. Coming on strong and expressing your desires may feel uncomfortable at first, but others find your newfound assertiveness to be refreshingly sexy.

 

 

Leo Horoscope
Leo Horoscope (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

This weekend isn’t the best time to be brassy and sassy. It’s much more interesting (and real) to allow your vulnerability to rise to the surface. Self-pity and complaining aren’t attractive, but a truthful expression of your needs and concerns can earn you trust. Investing emotionally in a meaningful connection will be more rewarding now than keeping things light.

 

Virgo Horoscope
Virgo Horoscope (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

The purpose of using your impeccable logic this weekend is to discuss powerful emotional issues, instead of inventing ways to avoid them in your mind. You can untie knots of misunderstanding when you’re willing to talk about delicate matters without getting bogged down in blame or guilt. Seeking to solve problems now by engaging in constructive dialogue is healthier than ignoring the situation any longer.

 

 

Libra Horoscope
Libra Horoscope (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

You may feel disappointed in a person close to you on Friday as your key planet Venus is opposed by suspicious Pluto. Yet this can be a perfect opportunity to dig in to an issue that you’ve been previously unwilling to face. Confronting the truth is a courageous act that will either heal the relationship or give you the strength to help you pursue love with someone else.

 

 

Scorpio Horoscope
Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

The Moon traveling through your sign this weekend stirs up your hunger for intimacy. It’s still not unreasonable to be afraid of going after who and what you want, but doing nothing is even more dangerous now. Silence will isolate you, while speaking up, even if it’s a struggle, can clear the air and restore trust or convince you that it’s time to move on.

 

 

Sagittarius Horoscope
Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

Your easygoing and friendly nature is usually delightful and garners plenty of positive attention. But the Moon is hanging out in your secretive 12th House this weekend, which requires a more subtle approach to self-expression. Quiet conversations in out-of-the-way places will do more for your love life now than partying hardy and playing hard.

 

 

Capricorn Horoscope
Capricorn Horoscope (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

Complicated friends and passionate pals play active roles in your personal life this weekend. The Moon lighting up your 11th House of Groups is ideal for going out with a gang of people. Yet no matter how exciting things get, knowing when to keep silent might be more important than anything you say. Choose your words and companions carefully now so things don’t get messy later on.

 

Aquarius Horoscope
Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

The freedom and independence you normally crave could be hard to come by this weekend. The Moon enters intense Scorpio late on Friday, which can bring out the clingy sides of people. Don’t allow yourself to be cornered or manipulated by anyone, but if you desire intimacy, you may have to lose yourself in the mysterious world of emotions to find it.

 

 

Pisces Horoscope
Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

It’s amazing how you can use your powers of persuasion with such subtlety this weekend. You have a very good chance of getting your way without anyone feeling like you’re tricking them. You don’t even have to explain your motives unless you want to now. Leaving an air of mystery around you only makes you more captivating to others.