the daily humorscopes for friday, july 29th

the daily humorscope 

Friday, July 29, 2011

 

the dailyAries (March 21 – April 19)
Today you will have a sudden, somewhat irrational desire to drive to Camden, New Jersey, and visit the Soup Tureen Museum. Fortunately, you will restrain yourself.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Better have that spot checked out by a doctor. Sure it may look benign, but sometimes those carpet stains can spread.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
This will be a day filled with tragically many sneezes. At least it’ll be a good opportunity to learn how to sneeze “cute.”
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Today you will wonder where idiomatic expressions come from, and whether you can start one yourself. Be careful, though. The first person to say “nothing succeeds like success” must have sounded like a real idiot.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Something is about to become overly intimate with you. Intimacy can be good. Just not with fungus.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
An apple a day will keep the doctor away. Another tip you should consider: fresh figs can be used to avoid plumbers.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Today you will uncover a conspiracy, involving leaf-blowers and other noisy and completely pointless garden equipment.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
You will have an odd dream in which a stadium filled with dogs looks on while a group of wiry runners chases a bunny around a track. The bunny will be Miss April, I believe.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
During a walk in the woods, you will spot Mick Jagger. He will be gathering moss. You will find that strangely disturbing.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
You will be overly impressed by a commercial for a golf club, which describes it as a “weapon of incredible range and power”. You will make people nervous by referring to your pencil as “a weapon of incredible pointyness and surprise”.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
You will join a team, and have lots of fun. I’m not sure what sport it is, but the team name will be “The Screaming Weasels”.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
You find that after all these years, you are finally beginning to conquer your fears. You will find that oddly frightening

Happy Saturday Afternoon My Dearies!

 

Hello my luvs! How are you all doing this fine weekend? I hope everyone is having a lovely do so far. Me, well I took a mini-vacation. I have just pushed and pushed and I pooped out. The nights’ we have had a full moon, I have been sitting outside under it. Meditating some and then just recharging my batteries. I wanted to remind you that tonight is the third night after the Full Moon. If you haven’t got them Full Moon Rituals or Spells done now is the time to do them, got some cleansing, get it done, blessings like the house or self, get ‘er done!

I had ordered a new pendant and I was praying it would get here during the Full Moon. It showed up yesterday in the mail and I was tickled to death. It got cleansed last night. Tonight it gets concentrated and blessed to me, then I am going to bless the house. See I practice what  I preach. If I preached I would but I don’t, lol!

Seriously this is just a reminder to get all those Full Moon things done tonight!

Good Thursday Morning Dearies!

I hope everyone is having a lovely Thursday so far. I am Spring Cleaning. I know it is a little late for Spring Cleaning but it is 105 outside. I just hate to see July and August if the temperatures are already like this. Alaska here I come! I started outside this morning. I went and bought a new water hose and also Round-Up. I was going strong at 5:30 a.m. I had to dodge two wildcats every time I made a move.

“AND HERE I MUST INTERJECT A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT’

I mentioned wildcats. I don’t know if you heard it on TV last night or not. But if you live in a wooded area were wildcats are known to roam, you need to be aware of this. There is a tick that lives on the wildcats. The ticks fall off the wildcats and gets on our indoor cats (only if you let them out). The ticks get on the indoor cats when they go outside. And give them “wildcat fever,” this is a fatal disease and there is no known cure for it. They said the cats get sick and they don’t know what it is till they do blood work. Then they find out the cats has “wildcat fever,” and it is too late, just a matter of time before the cat dies. They said the best way to avoid this is to keep your cats inside.

I caught hell last night for playing with two of my wildcats. But I don’t figure Stinker is in any danger. He is not close to them or around them. I am the one around them and I have always made it a practice to check myself for ticks.

Then I get throwed in my face perhaps I caught something from them. Remember when I had all the knots suddenly appearing on my head. Nobody knew what was causing the knots. Who knows I still have them popping out and (knock on wood) they haven’t killed me yet.

I love how this goes from me working my butt off to wildcat fever, Gee! Well I am going to go get me some more Cranberry juice (I have got to the point I crave this stuff, weird, huh?) and start posting. I hope everyone have a lovely day. Remember to keep your cats inside. Give’em a hug and kiss for me!

One more thing, you will notice there is a new post on the blog today, “Saint of the Day.” I have been asked by several Practitioners if I would include this daily and I said yes.  So “Saint of the Day” will become a regular feature now. If you have anything you would like to see or request, just let me know and I will get it on here for you.