Love and the Use Of Magick

Author:   Gentle Deer Lion Tamer 

In this rambling, I will talk about the ever-present topic of Love Spells and also offer some guidance on the use of any spell, ritual or potion for manipulative purposes. By manipulative purposes, I am referring to a working where the object of said working is not aware it is being done, nor has he or she consented to such a working.

Of course this is only my opinion and it is not intended to embarrass anyone. These are simply my thoughts on a subject that gets batted around quite frequently, so take it for what is worth. From the mail I receive from those who have made or seen these mistakes happen, I’m confident the majority who are experienced in this path shares them.

The primary question one must consider before undertaking any ritual working, especially where Love Magick is concerned is, “Is This Working Consistent With The Basic Tenant of HARM NONE as expressed in The Rede.”

Upon asking yourself the following two questions, you can effectively analyze the reasons to either justify or dismiss the working.

1. What is my intent in performing this work?
2. Is this spell or ritual influenced by anger; hatred; lust; greed; jealousy or envy?

If your answer to question number 1 is found within question number 2, then as a Wiccan and follower of the Light Path, you must abandon this spell or ritual because it will not be consistent with the Rede.

Likewise, if question 1 is answered by question 2 and you continue, you can no longer rightfully call yourself Wiccan. A True Wiccan will not use manipulative magick to negatively influence another for his/her own personal interests.

The whole purpose of following this path is to live in harmony and balance with the natural rhythms of life, not to manipulate them to suit a selfish goal. At this point, you need to refer to yourself as a follower of the Dark Path since manipulative magick for personal gain without consideration of the outcome falls within that realm…

Harsh Words? You Bet…

Does It Make You Uncomfortable?

Good…

By undertaking such an action without the consent or approval of another, you are clearly disregarding the Rede and using your gifts for purely selfish reasons. Therefore, you are setting forces in motion that will ultimately have negative impact in one way or another and you are practicing Dark Magick.

You must remember that once you create and release this energy as a thought form, it will acquire life, form and substance. It will run it’s course, and the final outcome through the laws of cause and effect may not be what you wanted. The potential for great harm to both yourself and others are clearly evident in such a working. This is especially clear when you consider that you will eventually need to absorb this energy back into yourself after it has ruined your life and the lives of who knows how many others…

Let’s Look At a Potential Outcome of Such a Working for a Moment…

You create a Love Spell, focus your energy and release it toward your victim. I use the word victim because that is what you have just made this person if they are unaware of your work and have not given their consent.

Through the laws of magick, your victim begins to fall hopelessly in love with you or the person you performed this spell for. So much so that they become increasingly dependent as time passes. They can no longer function without your presence and guidance. You cannot get a moments peace because they constantly have to be with you. You can no longer function at work because they are calling every ten minutes. They become increasingly jealous, possessive and suspicious because they cannot have all of your time. The list of undesirable effects could go on and on and can become more than a little frightening.

Ultimately, you must ask yourself the following questions. Would “you” want someone doing this to you, and if you truly cared for someone, how could you risk doing something like this to them? In my humble opinion, it does not show a very high regard or respect for others or yourself and the decision on whether or not to proceed is clear.

I caution you that non-consensual Love Magic is a double-edged sword and borders on the manipulation of another human being against their “Free Will”. It is also dangerously close to Psychic Rape and is considered highly unethical by most who practice the Craft.

I hope this has given those who have considered using such practices food for thought. While all may not share my opinion, it illustrates the need to consider all potential outcomes before focusing and releasing a spell.

A Better Solution

A friend who wishes to be known as “Betty” writes this:

A couple of years ago, I was single again after the demise of a long marriage. I was lonely, and hoping I would not spend the rest of my life alone. I had decided to ask the Goddess for help, using my own energies and powers. So, not wanting another not-so-good marriage, I was asking for what qualities in a person I wanted, and asked to be -SENT- someone rather than just find someone. I went outside and performed a ritual under the full moon, by myself. I asked that I be sent -THE RIGHT- person, with no particular idea of who that person would be, or any specific qualities about that person. From my previous marriage, I knew that it was important to me that the person share important things in my life, including my religion, at least in a basic sense.

Well, in a couple of days, I met a new person online. I thought we were writing about our shared interest in folk music. Then, after a little while, first he, then I, admitted that there was more interest than that. One thing led to another there, he came to visit me. He told me that he too, had been doing a simple ritual during that same full moon: Lighting candles, and asking Goddess, “Please Mother, send me someone to love so I don’t spend my life alone”. He ended up staying and sending for his things, and we were later married.

This is a better solution than asking for a specific thing, in a specific way, or especially from a specific person. For one thing, the issue of manipulation completely went away. Instead, the person who was sent was also asking for someone to love, through his own ritual. We did not know each other when we did these rituals.

For another thing, we were both asking for a “right person” for us. In both of our cases, sure, other people (former spouses) believed that we were not “the right person”. We probably weren’t for them. For each other, we may well be. Neither of us is perfect, no one is a “perfect partner” for everyone.

We have always been amused that we were doing these rituals with similar intent, although the specifics of the operation of the rituals were very different at the same time, for the same purpose. Perhaps Goddess runs a “cosmic switchboard” of sorts. When She gets various requests, She just introduces people on some criteria – kind of like a dating service with ALL of the information.