How Not To Get Invited Back To A Circle
- Take the ritual sword from the altar and make sounds like Darth Vader — “Luke, I am your father!” — and start making light saber noises.
- Start skat-singing when chanting.
- Take the ritual athame from the altar and start cleaning your nails with it.
- When taking a sip of the ritual wine, act like a wine snob and comment on it.
- When doing the spiral dance, make it a Conga line.
- Call down the Goddess with “Get your ass down here, Big Momma!”
- Call down the God with “Our father, who art in heaven …”
- When chanting the names of the Goddess, randomly include Pokemon names.
- When being smudged, complain vehemently about second-hand smoke.
- In a drumming circle, laugh insanely and start drumming the beat to Wipe Out!
- Ask the people in the circle “When are we all gonna git nekked?”
- When in a skyclad circle, randomly point and laugh.
- When the ritual wine goblet is passed to you, chug it and ask for more.
- Invoke Satan.
- Take out a Bible and start evangelizing.
- Light-up a cigar.
- Bring a cute furry creature and offer it as a blood sacrifice.
- Talk a lot about casting spells for revenge against people who have offended you.
- At a handfasting say “Thank God! Maybe now i’ll get some grandchildren!”
- When in circle, answer your cell phone.
- Respond to “So Mote it Be!” with “Amen!”
- Invite people to “Come to the dark side.”
- Bring you kids and ask the group to invoke the baby sitting Goddess.
— concept by Azriel LittleHawk, with edits and ammendments by Turok and contributors