Laugh-A-Day: You might be practicing Bubba Wicca if …

You might be practicing Bubba Wicca if …


  1. You are out in the woods and the Horned God appears to you and it takes you more than 30 seconds to put down your deer rifle.
  2. You’ve ever duct-taped an outhouse and called it a sweat lodge.
  3. You run out of candles and then get the emergency flares out of your   trunk.
  4. Your altar is made from the hood of an old Chevy pick-up.
  5. You begin your Circle by calling for quarters to be placed in the beer fund jar.
  6. You enter a skyclad circle with the words, In Perfect Love and Perfect Lust.
  7. You close a circle with the words “Hot damn, let’s party!”
  8. You get most of your spiritual wisdom about the cycles of nature from Bill Dance bass fishing shows.
  9. You watch NASCAR for its karmic revelation.
  10. Your ritual robes are made of weatherproof camouflage.
  11. Your revel fire causes the smokejumpers to fly in.
  12. The only herb you use has to be planted in the middle of nowhere.
  13. You think “The Reclaiming Collective” is a great name for a used automobile parts business.
  14. Before you can use your ritual cauldron, you have to wash out the bones from your fish stew.

    Turok’s Cabana

Lighten Up – Circle Etiquette

Circle Etiquette

Never summon Anything you can’t banish.

Never put asafoetida on the rocks in the sweat lodge.

Do not attempt to walk more than 10 paces while wearing all of your ritual jewelry, dream bags and crystals at the same time.

When proposing to initiate someone, do not mention the Great Rite, leer, and say, “Hey, your trad or mine?”

Never laugh at someone who is skyclad. They can see you, too.

Never, ever set the Witch on fire.

Looking at nifty pictures is not a valid path to mastering the ancient grimoires. Please read thoroughly and carefully from beginning to end so that your madness and gibberings will at least make some sense.

A good grasp of ritual and ritual techniques are essential! In the event of a random impaling, or other accidental death amongst the participants, (see next rule) a quick thinker can improvise to ensure successful completion of the Rite. Make them another sacrifice, Demons like those.

Watch where you wave the sharp pointy items.

Avoid walking through disembodied spirits.

Carry an all purpose translators dictionary in case the ritual leader begins talking in some strange and unknown language.

Avoid joining your life force to anything with glowing red eyes.

If asked to sign a contract or pact and you are experiencing doubts or reservations, sign your neighbors name. Malevolent entities rarely ask for photo ID.

Blood is thicker than water. Soak ritual garments an extra 30-45 minutes.

While drunken weaving may be mistaken for ecstatic dancing, slurring the names of Deities is generally considered bad form.

Lighten Up – Circle Etiquette

Circle Etiquette

Never summon Anything you can’t banish.

Never put asafoetida on the rocks in the sweat lodge.

Do not attempt to walk more than 10 paces while wearing all of your ritual jewelry, dream bags and crystals at the same time.

When proposing to initiate someone, do not mention the Great Rite, leer, and say, “Hey, your trad or mine?”

Never laugh at someone who is skyclad. They can see you, too.

Never, ever set the Witch on fire.

Looking at nifty pictures is not a valid path to mastering the ancient grimoires. Please read thoroughly and carefully from beginning to end so that your madness and gibberings will at least make some sense.

A good grasp of ritual and ritual techniques are essential! In the event of a random impaling, or other accidental death amongst the participants, (see next rule) a quick thinker can improvise to ensure successful completion of the Rite. Make them another sacrifice, Demons like those.

Watch where you wave the sharp pointy items.

Avoid walking through disembodied spirits.

Carry an all purpose translators dictionary in case the ritual leader begins talking in some strange and unknown language.

Avoid joining your life force to anything with glowing red eyes.

If asked to sign a contract or pact and you are experiencing doubts or reservations, sign your neighbors name. Malevolent entities rarely ask for photo ID.

Blood is thicker than water. Soak ritual garments an extra 30-45 minutes.

While drunken weaving may be mistaken for ecstatic dancing, slurring the names of Deities is generally considered bad form.

Lighten Up – Circle Etiquette

Never summon Anything you can’t banish.

Never put asafoetida on the rocks in the sweat lodge.

Do not attempt to walk more than 10 paces while wearing all of your ritual jewelry, dream bags and crystals at the same time.

When proposing to initiate someone, do not mention the Great Rite, leer, and say, “Hey, your trad or mine?”

Never laugh at someone who is skyclad. They can see you, too.

Never, ever

set the Witch on fire.

Looking at nifty pictures is not a valid path to mastering the ancient grimoires. Please read thoroughly and carefully from beginning to end so that your madness and gibberings will at least make some sense.

A good grasp of ritual and ritual techniques are essential! In the event of a random impaling, or other accidental death amongst the participants, (see next rule) a quick thinker can improvise to ensure successful completion of the Rite. Make them another sacrifice, Demons like those.

Watch where you wave the sharp pointy items.

Avoid walking through disembodied spirits.

Carry an all purpose translators dictionary in case the ritual leader begins talking in some strange and unknown language.

Avoid joining your life force to anything with glowing red eyes.

If asked to sign a contract or pact and you are experiencing doubts or reservations, sign your neighbors name. Malevolent entities rarely ask for photo ID.

Blood is thicker than water. Soak ritual garments an extra 30-45 minutes.

While drunken weaving may be mistaken for ecstatic dancing, slurring the names of Deities is generally considered bad form.

Vision Questing

Vision Questing

 

 

A vision quest is no easy task to accomplish, but it will open your eyes to many things in this world that you had not noticed before. A vision quest pushes the body, mind, and soul to the extreme, where they all meet and come together. It is essential for all parts of ourselves to be in harmony with each other and with nature.

It is not necessary to do a full eight-day vision quest to discover your elemental affinity, but if you wish to you certainly can do so. The following vision quest is recommended, it is simpler and more harmonious to our roles in daily life. At this point, you should have some idea of which element you prefer.

1. Fast on juice and water for one day while you meditate and focus on your person elemental characteristics.

2. Early the next morning, set out for a long walk. Plan to spend the whole day communing with nature. Take only water with you. If you can arrange to camp out for the night, so much the better. If not, spend at least an hour focusing on the Earth itself. Notice the differences in grass blades, dirt types, and tree barks.

3. Open up a dialog in your head with one of the elements, asking it all you wish to know. Do the same with the other three elements in turn.

4. Do not allow yourself to sleep that night, if possible. Spend it communing with the elements instead.

5. Keep an eye out for a sign, be it a hawk flying that catches your attention or a special star twinkling. Your personal element will reveal itself in a unique way.
6. When you return home, honor yourself and the element that came to you with a ritual. You do not have to dedicate yourself to a particular element in order to learn more about it. Simply ask that element to show you more, and remember to say thank you. Courtesy and respect go along way.

7. Bless yourself with a simple statement of intent. Say something like, “I am blessed with the eyes of my Lord and Lady.” Throughout this entire process, do not be afraid to cry and laugh. A successful vision quest is a highly charged emotional task and quite an accomplishment.

If it is possible for you to do a full eight-day vision quest, the process is more elaborate as follows:

1. There is a three-day preparation period, during which you spend all of your time searching for your personal element by discussing your personality and viewpoints with the universe or whomever happens to be around. Every topic that pops into your mind is appropriate, so be sure to keep accurate notes. You swim to soak up air energy, lie on the ground to soak up earth energy, and allow the sun to shine on you to soak up fire energy. This time is meant to prepare you for your task.

2. For the next three days, go out into nature alone, with no food, only water. Fast, meditate, commune with the elements, and do a great amount of personal reflection. Stay out in the wild until you see your sign, your vision of your personal element. On the fourth morning you may return home. During this time period, you are allowed nothing that does not come from nature itself and no food. Physical activity is encouraged. If you see your sign before the fourth day, it is a personal choice whether to stay on the journey or to return home. Let your instinct guide your choice.

3. When you return home, hold a ceremony of rebirth, for you have been reborn into your element. Traditional Native American rites call for a sweat lodge cleansing , but this can also be done with smudging. To smudge yourself, light a smudging stick or burn sage on a charcoal tablet. Pass your arms through the smoke, then your legs, and so on, until you have exposed your whole body to the cleansing effect of the sage smoke. After the cleansing, it’s time to write your story.
4. Perform a rite of honor, such as a ritual bath with all the trappings.

If you have performed all of these steps and are still not sure which element is best to work with, study the four Elemental Witch path and continue your meditations. Your element will eventually reveal itself; it just may choose to wait a bit until the time is right.

Circle Etiquette

Circle Etiquette

Never summon Anything you can’t banish.

Never put asafoetida on the rocks in the sweat lodge.

Do not attempt to walk more than 10 paces while wearing all of your ritual jewelry, dream bags and crystals at the same time.

When proposing to initiate someone, do not mention the Great Rite, leer, and say, “Hey, your trad or mine?”

Never laugh at someone who is skyclad. They can see you, too.

Never, ever set the Witch on fire.

Looking at nifty pictures is not a valid path to mastering the ancient grimoires. Please read thoroughly and carefully from beginning to end so that your madness and gibberings will at least make some sense.

A good grasp of ritual and ritual techniques are essential! In the event of a random impaling, or other accidental death amongst the participants, (see next rule) a quick thinker can improvise to ensure successful completion of the Rite. Make them another sacrifice, Demons like those.

Watch where you wave the sharp pointy items.

Avoid walking through disembodied spirits.

Carry an all purpose translators dictionary in case the ritual leader begins talking in some strange and unknown language.

Avoid joining your life force to anything with glowing red eyes.

If asked to sign a contract or pact and you are experiencing doubts or reservations, sign your neighbors name. Malevolent entities rarely ask for photo ID.

Blood is thicker than water. Soak ritual garments an extra 30-45 minutes.

While drunken weaving may be mistaken for ecstatic dancing, slurring the names of Deities is generally considered bad form.

Circle Etiquette

Circle Etiquette

 

Never summon Anything you can’t banish.

Never put asafoetida on the rocks in the sweat lodge.

Do not attempt to walk more than 10 paces while wearing all of your ritual jewelry, dream bags and crystals at the same time.

When proposing to initiate someone, do not mention the Great Rite, leer, and say, “Hey, your trad or mine?”

Never laugh at someone who is skyclad. They can see you, too.

Never, ever set the Witch on fire.

Looking at nifty pictures is not a valid path to mastering the ancient grimoires. Please read thoroughly and carefully from beginning to end so that your madness and gibberings will at least make some sense.

A good grasp of ritual and ritual techniques are essential! In the event of a random impaling, or other accidental death amongst the participants, (see next rule) a quick thinker can improvise to ensure successful completion of the Rite. Make them another sacrifice, Demons like those.

Watch where you wave the sharp pointy items.

Avoid walking through disembodied spirits.

Carry an all purpose translators dictionary in case the ritual leader begins talking in some strange and unknown language.

Avoid joining your life force to anything with glowing red eyes.

If asked to sign a contract or pact and you are experiencing doubts or reservations, sign your neighbors name. Malevolent entities rarely ask for photo ID.

Blood is thicker than water. Soak ritual garments an extra 30-45 minutes.

While drunken weaving may be mistaken for ecstatic dancing, slurring the names of Deities is generally considered bad form.