Oh man, can you believe it is August already? Where on earth has this summer went? I was just remembering the start of Spring. Easy for me to remember, I use to be a Spring Equinox baby till they moved the date in March. I know I ain’t crazy either. I remember the weatherman giving two dates as the start of Spring. I thought “good for you, Mr. Weatherman!” People tend to forget the older things in life. Excuse me, I am not saying I am old now. That’s the one of the lovely problems with being a Hereditary, you hear everything at least four to five times from all sorts of different witches. The funny thing, when they tell you it is like they know you have never heard this before. I believe when I was about ten, they finally decided one person telling me something was enough, lol! Some of them I actually knew, others knew me as a baby and passed their knowledge on to me when I was very young. I can imagine them whispering in my ear. But I seriously doubt if it was a magick spell or anything, more like an old lullaby or a similar soothing chant. When I came along I was the first baby in years and years. Yes, I had a sister but she was 23 years older than me, yeah. I grew up like an only child. I was spoiled rotten and daddy’s girl. This made my sister mad and my father told me, she was even mad when she found out my mother was pregnant with me. My sister and my mother were both pregnant at the same time. My sister had her baby first, then I was borne the next year. My nephew, myself and then my niece were all the same age. There was only a year apart in our ages. So you can imagine what life was like around our house. No wonder, poor daddy stayed on the river so much (he was a river boat captain, gone 30 days, home 30 days). I believe if I had been grown and had good sense, I might have left too, lol! But I remember my sister bringing her kids over to the house on the weekends for momma to babysit. Everywhere we went it seems like those kids was with us. The party stopped when my mother developed cancer and we found out she only had perhaps a few years to live. That was the hardest thing a 11-year-old child can hear. Your mother, who had been your whole life, is getting ready to die. I couldn’t believe it, I didn’t want to believe it. I remember the surgery, momma had. The grown-ups kept trying to push me back. Well I stayed back, right behind daddy’s back. I heard everything. This doctor only gave her a few months to live. I went to the bathroom and slid down the wall. I cried and cried. I even cry now when I think about it. My father never told my mother the truth about what the doctor said and now I don’t think that was right at all. My mother lived for two years, most in severe pain and in and out of hospitals. I think now if she could have lived a little longer perhaps they could have cured her. It is horrible to loss someone who you love that much. I can still feel the empty hole in my heart ache and hurt. It is a hollow place that no matter what, it can never be filled. Every now and then, I relive this horrible experience like I am doing today. I can’t forget it. I loved my mother more than life and her death has made me who I am. I remember when I got married, I prayed that I would live long enough to see my children grown. I wanted to live long enough to see them grown, able to take care of theirselves and never have to ask no one for anything. Both of them are now grown and I have been granted a beautiful life thanks to my Goddess. I got in one of these blue moods as I called them because I didn’t have a mother like everyone else. Then it hit me, STUPID! You are the luckiest person in the world. You have 3 mothers. The Goddess, My Deity and My Mother, three of the greatest women I have ever knew. I don’t know if you have heard the old saying, “out of every dark cloud is a ray of sunshine.” When I was little, I could comprehend this. But now as I am older, I understand it completely. I still miss and love my mother but I realize I have picked up two wonderful Ladies to dry my tears and comfort me. I never had that before till I asked my Goddess and My Deity to be my mothers. My head clears and there is a sudden warmth that fills my body, it’s the Goddess telling me it will be all right. There is no way you can make anything good out of death but you can eventually come to terms with it. You can find great peace and comfort in our Mother, the Goddess and perhaps even your Deity. Whenever you need Her, she is there and will never desert you. Those of us who know the Goddess and Her teachings are some of the luckiest people on the face of this planets.
Go gives those you love a hug and a kiss one for you and one for me. Don’t let another day pass without you telling them how much you love and care for them. Life is short, too short.
Luv & Hugs,