A Little Humor – Dysfunctional Greeting Cards

Dysfunctional Greeting Cards



I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you’ve come into my life…

[Inside card] I’ve changed my mind.

I must admit, you brought religion into my life…

[Inside card] I never believed in Hell until I met you.

As the days go by, I think how lucky I am….

[Inside card] That you’re not here to ruin it for me.

Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go….

[Inside card] Will you take the knife from my back? You’ll probably need it again.

Someday I hope to marry…

[Inside card] Someone other than you.

Happy Birthday! You look great for your age….

[Inside card] Almost lifelike!

When we were together, you said you’d die for me…

[Inside card] Now we’ve broken up, I think it’s time to keep your          promise.

We’ve been friends for a very long time…

[Inside card] What do you say we stop?

I’m so miserable without you…

[Inside card] It’s almost like you’re still here.

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy….

[Inside card] Did you ever find out who the father was?

You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was          only one life jacket…

[Inside card] I’d miss you terribly and think of you often.

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

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Looking back over the years we’ve been together, I can’t help but wonder… [Inside card] – What was I thinking?

Congratulations on your wedding day!…

[Inside card] Too bad no one likes your husband.

My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat When I looked at the tire…           [Inside card] I noticed your cat. Sorry!

Heard your wife left you, How upset you must be. But don’t fret about it… [Inside card] She moved in with me.

How could two people as beautiful as you …          

[Inside card] Have such an ugly baby?

Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday.

[Inside card] So we’re having you put to sleep.

I know you hate me.

[Inside card] I hate you more and I have a reason.

Happy Birthday, Son.

[Inside card] We think you are old enough now to get a job and move out.


Turok’s Cabana