How many members of your sign does it take to change a light bulb?

How many members of your sign does it take to change a light bulb?

Aries: Just one. You want to make something of it?

Taurus: One, but just “try” to convince them that the burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.

Gemini: Two, but the job never gets done — they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it’s supposed to be done.

Cancer: Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grief process.

Leo: Leo’s don’t change light bulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a Virgo in to do the job for them while they’re out.

Virgo: Approximately 1.000000000000000000 with an error of 1 millionth.

Libra: Er, two. Or maybe one. No — on second thought, make that two. Is that okay with you?

Scorpio: That information is strictly secret and shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical Order.

Sagittarius: The sun in shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?

Capricorn: I don’t waste my time with these childish jokes.

Aquarius: Well, you have to remember that everything is energy, so…..

Pisces: Light bulb? What light bulb?