Who Am I? Just Setting the Record Straight!

Who Am I? Just Setting the Record Straight!

Author: Keyokwee

Just the other day I had a reality check delivered to me, served up on a platter. My oldest Son lives in the area and he has had a couple of girlfriends and also he has numerous friends. So when I go to town to shop I can rest assured that I would recognize at least one or two of them. Since they were always at work, I never paid any attention to the fact that they mostly smiled a hurried Hi and hustled off to resume their jobs…with the exception of one of his ex-girlfriends who acts as though I were going to kick her butt and actually scurries away every time she sees me. It truly would be a miraculous feat because of my arthritis if I had the ability to do this-but I can’t.

So a couple of days ago, we had the pleasure of having my Son and his Significant Other and my Grandson as guests for several days. When we all went into town for shopping and to show off the baby, I noticed that I received the same reaction from his friends even when they were off duty (and we saw quite a few) . Hmmm… I smell a frog in the pond!

I didn’t say anything until we were in the truck going home and then casually commented that the townsfolk seemed awfully disturbed by my presence with the three of them. And that they were also especially startled to see me carrying and kissing my Grandchild! The resulting slight swerve of the truck and the ensuing throat-clearing and nervous giggles with the furtive glances cast quickly to each other confirmed my suspicion: my son has a BIG Froggy mouth! One with opinions that lean towards the uber-conservative right where truth gets trampled in hysteria! Worse yet, his Significant Other bought into it and was just as nervous as the population of our small town about being around me. And why you ask? Because he told them.

Oh Gosh! Dare I say it? — major crescendo and drum roll please — I’m a Witch! (Resulting Gasps, Screams and Startled looks!)

PULLEASE!!!! Get a life! So for the purpose of setting some mis-conceptions right here goes……….

AAAAAHHHHH!!!! Scream and Hide the young-uns! Yup, that’s right, folks! I’m THE Original devil worshipping, 666 branded, spell casting, frog-turning, cackling, evilest woman, of the “West’s Wand and Broom Society” in the flesh! Cover your crotches and cross your eyes! (Your words and ideas not mine!)

All 191lbs of big, beautiful, me! And yes I even have both the broom and wand to prove it Thank-you very much! But let us set some facts straight here! I am truly flattered by all the faith that you have in my terrible powers…but common sense is lacking in some areas.

Devil worshipping? Nope! I don’t even believe in your devils or your Gods…just Mother Earth and Goddess and God. No Satan or devils here; last time I saw them…they were in your books, I believe. You guys seem all too ready to point fingers and talk about them all the time. EEESSHH!! Oh and by the way…that one God of yours named Satan…He’s all your idea and one of your Gods-not mine… so please keep him over there! Don’t go creating something bad and then try blaming me for it Worse yet you keep trying try to toss him over the wall that you built for purity at me…strange things you guys think up when you are in the mood to accuse other’s of your sick ideas! BRRR! Go Figure!

I believe in the sanctity of life…all life great and small. I believe you are only as evil as you want to be and you have the free-will choice to be what you want. But then you are also responsible for those choices, too -good or bad – and the messes you create. I believe that the energy that I expend in life, whether it be for good or bad, will come back to me threefold. Just like the ripples in the water. I believe in living in the natural cycles of the year, living by the moon and seasons; growing crops, harvesting and storing them and planning for the next years…don’t you also? If you are farmers and ranchers you do!

I also believe in giving back to my Mother Earth by cleansing, healing and restoring balance to our land…which we all are starting to do. You can’t raise very good crops on polluted land with polluted water and expect to remain healthy. I don’t believe in the raping and plundering of our Mother Earth’s resources. For is it not She is who feeds us, clothes us, and provides everything that is necessary for our lives? Why would I endanger myself, my family, all species or Mother Earth just for some stupid coins of metal or pieces of paper with printed numbers on it? Where is the return on that? What is it that you promote if the things you desire are lifeless?

I believe in helping all my fellow mankind and creatures great and small, in nurturing and healing them if I can. If I have food, I’ll share, – clothes, I’ll share, – shelter, I’ll share. Wouldn’t you? I’m even willing to help teach you how to do it too. And I won’t preach at you. That is unless you want me too. -Seriously.

Power of frog turning? Let me ask you a common sense question. Now if I had the power to turn someone into a frog, don’t you think that there would be at least 2 ex-husbands and several hundred thousand more people that would now be croaking in my personal Pond Of Life? Damn! I must have missed that lesson in my spellbook! Shuckers! And if truth be told…what do I have against the frogs? But yet again, why would I condemn myself to three lifetimes as a frog for each of the people that crossed my path? Because what I send out comes back threefold. That would mean an eternity of frogdom for me…Nah! Better to just learn how to take responsibility for my temper, seek a common ground of compromise and understanding and to wish them all well. UHMM!! But thanks for the belief that you profess to have in my powers…if only I had them and it were true…I think! PSST! Don’t be so quick to bestow power on others. You set yourself up for big disappointments in life! Really messes up the other persons’ lives too.

Do I do sacrifices? Umm… nope. Unless you count the times I sacrificed for my kids when I was raising them. We do raise meat birds that are organic and butcher them humanely, just like all the other farmers around here that do the same. I just wanted to ensure that we are responsible for our own healthy food and that we do our part to ensure our chickens and turkeys are humanely treated and fed natural food, not meat by-products and antibiotics. We allow them to free-range and feed them goodies such as bread and veggie scraps besides their feed. They are also butchered as humanely as possible… nope not sacrificed to your God Satan…

We respect the lives of our birds and the gifts that they give to us in the food they provide; your Satan doesn’t. Plus we compost everything we can and do our best to recycle. Nope no human or animal sacrifices-sorry and all of our manure goes to the compost pile to be used to fertilize the soil and heal Mother Earth– it’s not flung at those who do not agree with us. But I do recall that in your books and stories, you boast of them in your past practices of worship…you once sacrificed animals and almost one human. Abraham’s son is one that comes to mind. And also the one you proclaim as one of your Gods. But too, I am not including the millions that are slaughtered in your Gods’ names either. And all because of not thinking or believing or worshipping as you do.

As for my belief in Goddess and God. I honest and truly believe that you can’t have one without the other. How would you know about light, if there were not the presence of dark? Air without the absence of air? One could not exist without the other. Same as creation….Goddess carries forth and births life, but it takes Goddess and God to create life. There is always balance. When the balance is tipped, as it has been the last 6000 years or so; then injustices are perpetuated against all of creation. And when one is elevated and the other subjugated, the imbalance creates the ugly sides of society such as we are seeing today and it is complete with the total dis-respect and pollution of Mother Earth and all living things. By our own hands. And no amount of self-righteousness will ever excuse the crimes that we have been inflicting upon each other or our Mother Earth. I don’t care what you believe in!

How about dancing naked outside… Cackling…Yup I do that when I laugh! Guilty as charged.

Tattoo of 666? Nope! And I even checked in places that have not seen sunlight in ages! Shudder! EEWW! Warning: don’t do this unless you’re ready for a real harsh reality check! Scariest thing I have ever done! Couldn’t even find a dingleberry and I was looking too!

Different holidays? Yes, but then we do have some that are on the same days too. (Fourth of July, Thanksgiving, Valentines Day to name a few.)

Broom riding… ARE YOU SERIOUS? I have yet to get my 191lb butt to defy gravity contained in a pair of blue jeans and my breasts in a miracle bra, let alone to be able to fly on a Broom! And let me tell you; if I could have…don’t you think someone would have shot my sorry butt down in blue flames by now? And I guarantee that EVERYONE would have heard about it by now if that would have happened- don’t ya think? Post 9/11 and all? Hell why stop there? Don’t you think the governments would have found a way to pervert or tax it? And that includes the visions of levitation and spinning my head 360 degrees!

Now as for “casting” spells…Yup! I do! I believe in the powers of the universe…especially positive thinking. I believe that if I surround myself with positive things and thoughts and energy, I can become a better person, and help other people and all life. Everything is made up of energy and to achieve balance we must walk in balance in our lives. By “casting” a spell, it is my way of focusing my energy to achieve that purpose-that balance. Positive thought creates positive action simple as that. You guys have several self-help Gurus that tell you the same thing all the time…no diff.

Do I believe in magic and the supernatural? Well let’s ask this question again, a different way. Do you believe in miracles and Angels? I do on both and that includes the miracles and creatures such as you call angels I call them fair ones! But there is nothing super about it…it’s just natural to me, just like breathing. I think you call it faith.

Am I evil? Well, that depends on who you talk to. I try to never hurt anyone or anything. And I try to always help everyone and everything and I do so freely in love and peace. I don’t believe in war, or killing or maiming or torture. I don’t believe in raping or plundering Mother Earth. I respect you and your right to exist and believe in what you want; as long as it does not involve the taking of others lives or their subjugation because of gender or race or religion or sexuality. I accept that we are all wonderfully diverse and unique. I believe our job is to make Mother Earth and all its inhabitants better because we have been here rather than in spite of it…maybe both. I believe in healing the sick, feeding the poor and clothing them, giving them shelter and such-but I have yet to learn to walk on water.

I have good days, bad days, happy days, and sad days. And I get angry and say some pretty dumb things at times. I do colossally stupid things and sometimes manage to make tiny improvements in my life. I love my family just like everyone else, I take pride in their achievements, love to give lots of hugs and kisses and encouragement, and take lots of pictures. And I too take responsibility for my own life and all that I do. I’m learning that I don’t need to worry about revenge because I know eventually Momma Karma will help the offender pick up the tab plus interest. Ask me how I know! So if that is evil…then so be it.

I believe that all of us are born, and live, and die several times over. And that we choose the lives and the lessons we seek to learn. There is no hell other than the ones we create here in our own perverse minds or inflict upon each other. No one is better or worse. Or more entitled or less. And believe it or not-I do believe that we have the ability to create Heaven here on Mother Earth…but it is going to require a lot of work and some serious re-adjustments of our priorities and pride.

I do grieve at the narrow-minded views that I encounter in my private and public dealings. When all types of good -whether it be a person or an act – has to first be stamped and certified by the local religious authorities as pure and righteous, or it is subsequently labeled as evil, then something is definitely wrong. And I, at that point start to question whether the future of our race as human beings and a species is going to continue. Because at what point do we end all the hatred and killing of all things that are different from us just because they are different? Swimming at the shallow end of the gene pool with that mindset is difficult enough without having to deal with those that have a penchant for peeing in the pool on top of it! I do have a hard time trying to understand these viewpoints. I do, I confess that. Especially when the viewpoints are attached to and promoted by some of my own family members.

It does become a real challenge sometimes. But I’m not going to back down on this or give up. Nor change who I am or what I believe in. I am who I am! Just as you are who you are. And there is room enough for all of us! Besides I have faith enough that one day for all of us, we will learn how to get along and actually accept and work with each other-that or we will eventually perish. But absolutely no one on this Earth has the right to say that I cannot live because I do not worship like they do. Never! If you have a question, by all means ask. Don’t just assume. And do us all a favor and use your common sense on some of them. I do not raise the dead except when I’m raising hell with the rest of you when I’ve had too much to drink…by making too much noise! I can’t make anyone do anything against his or her will. Or turn someone into anything else or cast an evil eye on them to bring about harm or death Nor do I cause all bad things to happen on Mother Earth just because I live…Give me a break! You guys have been watching too much Charmed or something and need to start focusing on your own reflection. The splinter and the plank tale…remember? And how about that one about not judging?

So come on out from your closets and stop crossing yourself and covering your crotches and such! Geesh! Now you know why I’m a Solitary! So if you’ll excuse me now I have a Big Mouth Fogy’s lily pad to up-end and give my oldest child a good dunking! Redeep! Redeep! Redeep! Come on in the waters’ fine! 😉

Peace and Blessings everyone!